the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Randomize
