i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
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In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize