she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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