i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
