I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
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