the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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