just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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