I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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