Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Randomize
