Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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