she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
