someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
How naked do you want me to be?
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize