last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
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