I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
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On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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