I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
