How'd it feel making her break her religion?
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
