take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
