i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
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