I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
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