You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
