Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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