Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
