Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize
