Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(206): View more from Washington

Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.

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(819): View more from Quebec

its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger

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(563): View more from Iowa

when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.

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(605): View more from South Dakota

You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.

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(908): View more from New Jersey

I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby

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(210): View more from Texas

Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!

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(402): View more from Nebraska

His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.

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