ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Someone came in the potted fern
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
