After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
