i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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