We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
