How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
