Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Randomize
