Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
