North Korea, Best Korea!
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
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