The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
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