I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Randomize
