She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize