Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
