yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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