So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
he shaved USA in his pubs
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
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As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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