My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
