May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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