I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
