yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
