Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
