Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
