I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
They should really pass out barf bags in church
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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