so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
