we need to drink 2009 down the drain
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
