Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
