dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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