i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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