omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
