It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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