Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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