I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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