turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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