....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Randomize
