I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Randomize
