Grow some girl-balls and come out already
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
