well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
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I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
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Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
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