we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
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