My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize