Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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