this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
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